Wednesday, August 23, 2017

life update of sorts || would you notice if I left?

Here I am, sitting down to type out a post because I feel like I should, but I have no idea what to say.
These days I simply do not feel like writing posts. I want to and I have ideas for posts, but I don't feel like writing them. If I did, I feel like nobody would even care.
Sometimes I wonder, if I quietly slipped out of the blogger world, would anybody even notice I was gone?

  My life is changing and there's no getting around it. My baby sister is turning thirteen on Sunday - when did she get to be so old!? My one and only brother is starting drivers ed and will be getting his licenses soon. My oldest sister has a boyfriend and the next thing I know she'll be married and living three-thousand miles away from me. Even LaKaysha has something going on in her life - she starts getting trained in for a job in October. And then there's me. I turn eighteen in October. "Little, Fat Daminika" - eighteen. (don't freak out, I was fat when I was a baby and it just stuck) How did this sneak up on me? When I was little, I dreamed of being sixteen. I never thought past that age. Then seventeen came along and I was little bit like, "okay... I've past my dream age". Now. Eighteen!?
I've been trying to prepare myself for turning eighteen, which is kinda weird, but the thought of being that old scares me. I just sit at home all week - and I mean sit, there isn't much to do at our little house - and then on Sunday I go to church. There's my life. Most my friends live in other states or places and I find myself lonely for New Hampshire and the people there.
Eighteen years old, no job, no car, no life. Right? I know it's probably not true, but I feel like I don't have a life. But I must have a life - I'm living aren't I?
When I was in New Hampshire, I told a cousin about my fear of going home to "no life" and getting stuck again. She told me that she had found every life has potential if you just give it a chance. She probably has no idea how grateful I was to hear her say that. On days when I feel like my life has no point, I remember her telling me that. *smiles*
I've never been able to stand it when someone turns eighteen and then gets depressed. It's always bugged me. And I'm trying hard not do that. Only God can keep me from getting depressed and I know that. *winks*
I feel like if I get all my fears of being eighteen out right now, by the time my birthday actually comes along I'll be okay with it all. *winks*
But enough about that *winks and sticks out tongue*

  This month has been active and full of adventures. I think my favorite two things I've done so far this month are one: go to the most beautiful wedding ever, and two: go camping in the mountains with my family. *nods* also, I went to the beach, and climbed the Column again, and ate yummy clam chowder, and drank lots of yummy coffee... it's been a good month for sure.

I have been working on a post about the camping trip - when I actually force myself to sit down the computer (like now *winks*). So that will be going up sometime... someday... *laughs*
Also, the end of the month is coming up fast! And then a photo dump! Hopefully on time this time. *chuckles*

The wedding was a second cousins wedding, and my cousin stood in it. She's was so beautiful I could've cried! And the bride and groom! *swoons* It's been a while since I've been to a wedding. I forgot how swoony weddings make me get. *laughs*

So. Who else is done with summer?
I normally don't get tired of any season (last winter was an exception - way too much snow) but summer started like a month early this year, so... it can go away now. I wouldn't mind at all.
I'm so looking forward to the coziness of fall, and even my birthday despite the huge number *winks*

There you have a randomly-put-together post about my life right now!
I hope your life has been great and you've enjoyed your summer!

What fun stuff have you done this summer? 
Do weddings make you swoon too? 

26 comments:

  1. I am sorry Daminika, that you feel like no one would notice if you left blog world...I don't believe that to be true!! I would miss you ;) Also I am sorry you are fighting being depressed about your age and about your life. Your cousin gave good advice... "every life has potential if you just give it a chance". Pray and ask God where he wants you then go for it!!! :):) I will be praying for you!!!
    I can't say weddings make me " swoon" but I do enjoy them. I am always reminded of my vows I made to Daddy and my heart swells ;) <3 Hang in there kiddo! This too shall pass!!! I love you! <3

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  2. You're not alone! <3 I can feel like I don't have much of a life too, and look around at the other people my age, feeling inferior. It's not true though... Jobs, cars, and all that isn't what matters. :)
    I would notice if you stopped blogging! :)

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    1. Thank you!! :) You are right... "Jobs, cars and all that isn't what matters"!! <3

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    2. Thanks, Natasha! <3 it's good to know that I'm not alone! *hugs*

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    3. You're welcome! *smiles* *hugs back*

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  3. I would notice if you stopped blogging also. Here I am sitting in the rocking chair at 2:49 in the morning. Can't sleep, baby wanted to be rocked for some reason and I'm catching up on blogs! So, don't stop please! I'm sorry you are having a hard time thinking about turning 18, sometimes life can be hard for us that's for sure. I'm going to be 40 in a couple years, yikes! That seems so old! As far as being ready for summer to be over? This year has been crazy and a whirlwind that I haven't really been able to enjoy it. Besides Alaska! :) Not quite ready to start school yet so trying to enjoy the last little bit here!

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    1. XD ok, I won't stop blogging ;P
      Oh I forget that school comes with fall. Lol ;P

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  4. Hey now, I haven't called you "little fat Daminika" in years sister dear! And you are not "just" Daminika! You're just as special and unique as anyone else. Listen to that cousin there *playful punch in the arm*

    I remember turning 18. It was really hard for me, but it really isn't bad. Once you get on the other side you will realize that! I promise!
    Life changes. Fast. Super, super fast. Enjoy this time of your life, because it will be gone before you know it and you'll be off in a life of your own! I know you don't believe me, I didn't believe people when they told me, but its true! I know it now!

    Love you sister dear! And I will miss you all... <3

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    1. *punches your arm*
      I know all that, sister xP
      Haha, you won't have time to miss me, you'll be too busy enjoying your boyfriend. ;P

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  5. Maybe it's something in the air? I feel the same about my life.. I can't believe I'll be 25 my next birthday! I feel like I should be turning 18! I see ppl my age and they all "have lives" and I feel like I'm so worthless, not having a "real" job, not married, don't even have a boyfriend.. I feel stuck too.. but then I tell myself that God created me and He created me for one reason, Him. I love you Daminika and I would know it and miss you if you left the blogging world! So sorry you are feeling depressed about life too! Prayers! 💖

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    1. Must be. Lol. Wait. You're gonna be 25 on your next birthday!? When did that happen!? I always thought you were like three or five years older than me but... *laughs* boy was I off ;P
      Love you too, Auntie! <3

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  6. awee, no way! I'd totally miss you if you left the blogging world - I always enjoy reading your posts. <33 God gives us quiet times, and crazy busy ones - we couldn't honestly handle it all if it was just one or the other. don't worry, just use this quiet time for the Lord and enjoy it - life happens, way too quickly sometimes. I've really been learning to embrace the moment this year and pay attention to the small things. I've made a lot of amazing memories this summer, and I know you have as well! (your trip to the east coast looked like a blast xD) anyways, happy early birthday, girl! <33

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    1. Aw! This comment made my day!
      All I can say is Thank You, thank you, thank you! *hugs*

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  7. I'm kind of scared about turning 13... it sounds so old! ;P
    I am also very excited about it though!

    I'd miss your blog posts if you left!
    I LOVE every one of them!! <3
    Love you sister!

    I can't wait until are little sleep over! *winks*

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    1. haha, you'll love being 13! I did ;P
      Love you too. XP
      Haha, it should be fun!

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  8. Birthdays are hard, aren't they? But you are fantastic and spectacular, and you're going to do awesome things- mark my words, my dear. ;) <3

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    1. I'm not the only one who finds them hard!? Awe, thanks so much, girl!! XD <3

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  9. Turning 18 was definitely hard for me. But like Felicity said "once you get to the other side" it does all change. Turning 21 shocked me. I mean, ME? 21?? But in a good way. I think I have finally "grown-up" to the point that I am not worried about it. God has a plan and a time for us all! I certainly don't know what the future holds and I don't exactly have a "life" either. But I have learned to take life as it is and enjoy the moment of now. So often we worry about the future and miss out on so much. Praying for you Ducky! P.S. You were a cute "Little, Fat Daminika" back in the day and you are still cute! ...but not fat... ;)

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    1. I was cute, wasn't I? ;P haha, well, good to know I'm not fat anymore *laughs*

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  10. See, Daminika? People love you! Don't give up! <3
    I turned eighteen. Nothing much happened, although I dreaded it. My nineteenth was actually harder for me, but you people really helped me with that special party! *winks*
    I feel 'stuck', too, but I have to remind myself that I'm nearly twenty years old, and those twenty years have gone by so fast! Enjoy where you are at this moment, because it can change overnight, and it's all in God's Hand. Chillax, girl. Just breathe. This, too, shall pass. It always does. :)

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    1. Do they, do they really? ;P
      OHHH kayyyyy. I'm chillaxed now ;P

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  11. first off, I'm 18 tomorrow. LOL I totttaallllly get what you're feeling about growing up. I saw this quote the other day and it made me think of what we are dealing with.

    "Whether you think you can, or that you can't, you are usually right" - Henry Ford

    idk why?? but...well, I guess its true for everyone lol!! Happy Early Birthday girl <3

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    1. Well Happy Birthday!!! <3 I hope 18 is good to you ;P it feels so good to know that I'm not the only one feeling this way. I feel a lot better these days. :D

      And thanks for sharing the quote, I like it a lot! It's kinda like a quote by Walt Disney that I've always liked. :D

      Thank you! XD <3

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